Sunday, December 7, 2008

Thanks To All My Readers And My Blah Blah Blah Rant

This is just a silly way of expressing how I feel sometimes! LOL :)
I still really can't believe that anyone reads my blog! I just wanted to say thank you, it means so much that you really care about what I am writing and that you feel the same as I do at times. Life is not always champagne and beautiful art, there are times I don't always feel like doing a damn creative thing or that I hide myself and my artwork away from the world, what can I say shit happens. Creative types, tend to be really sensitive. I feel like what I want to do and what I can accomplish are two very very different things. I'm very much into the process of creating these days, I mean if the end result is good than great, if not than that is fine too. That sounds simple right? For me it is not, I am really hard on myself, I want instant perfection of my mixed media projects and it is so not going to happen without practice. I am trying to get that. I have to say I just love doing mixed media, especially Les Petite Dolls, they are so fabulous right? My goal is to make at least 10 Les Petite Doll ornaments by Christmas! I have a few now so this seems doable. I want to make more art for my own walls.
I would like to give some of my art as gifts, but I know some people in my family would not appreciate my efforts and actually may ask me where the their real gift is so................this year, after a few years of comments like that, Can you imagine actually being so rude! excuse me for not having a huge wallet and not giving you something expensive! Over something I thought was meaningful! This same person shall remain nameless but has a new car where as I have a 95 Buick, that is on it's last legs, so we don't exactly have the same income, on this person's planet lol So I usually end up feeling bad and not saying anything because of complete and utter disbelief! I mean really what do you say to that? Maybe I am too nice, but I think my problem lies with the fact that I am sort of like a porsche 0 - 60 in 3 seconds, there seems to be no middle ground with me, I either have no response or end up going nuts and really saying what is on my mind, only with certain sensitive situations. I mean Christmas is a beautiful holiday for friends and family, I never bought into the commercialized aspect of the holiday......... I mean why not treat the ones that have supported and loved you the most instead of being guilted into getting a present for people you hardly know or never talk to? Maybe it's just me, but I feel as though I should make it up to my wonderful husband this year, because he is the one who really takes care of me and smiles when I give him something handmade and really appreciates it, unlike well some other people, so that is why this year I will see friends and family and on Christmas day instead of shuttling back and forth to some relatives house I will spend my glorious day with my hubby and whoever else wants to drop by to my home.
I think me and Chris got kind of a bum deal when it comes to The Family, we are the youngest in an Italian family, where their views on life and the world are very different that the way life actually is today and they are judgemental and I always have to call them because it is a respect issue, where I think that is totally weird because why wouldn't you call someone you love? They are all in their 80's and my cousins all have the same ideals and are in their 60's and think that I am way "too frivolous" I am 30 by the way and by no means immature for my age, it is just how they perceived a lot of things like women have to cook, clean and work and obey the husband........ I laugh at that...... Me and Chris have a great relationship, but we treat each other as equals by no means trying to be in control of the other. Well this is why I had to limit my time with them because I was sick of being judged and I mean they are hardcore, they even told Chris he was putting on weight at the last family gathering, they really have no shame! Me, being used to the remarks had to soothe his poor ego after that, but again they are ancient and they are who they are, but he was still pissed because he thought that was so rude and I was so embarrassed! Now I do my best for my mental peace of mind and I don't really care about what anyone else says about me anymore these days.....been there done that and I am so over it. I know I am doing the right thing for me, but it is hard when family is not supportive, because I wish they were............

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