Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Motivation When I am not making jewelry at home or as I call it The Comfort Cavern, I am trying to go outdoors and paint. Suzi Blu has a fabulous new class on YES, MERMAIDS!!! I really love her art work because it is so colorful and truth be told, when I get down, Suzi gets me out of my funk and I paint and loose myself in the brilliance that is art, for that I love her. I have taken many of, OK all of her classes and every one is wonderful. VISIT HER I am trying to be more "social" these days. I want art friends! I need to find some kindred spirits in the NYC area. LOL I am recruiting my mom for now, who just retired and now wants to make jewelry with me which is sorta cool. As I get older I have grown to appreciate my mom more. She has always been there for me, even if at the time I didn't see it. There is no one that can replace a mom. I have some issues, so bear with me because at times I am literally all over the place! I saw some interesting brain scans that showed "normal" brains and those of someone with ADHD, one is all nice and green and the other was an explosion of color! LOL
I refuse to take any medicine, because I have in the past and it was very shortly lived for me because I felt like complete shit. No Thanks. I am ordering these drops that increase the production of Dopamine. I am into natural remedies and want to live healthier. Advice was to change my diet, more fish, red wine, fish oil pills and to get my body moving. This will improve focus and concentration. We shaall see. I am also going to start frigging excising! I haven't in such a while that things are starting to creak and I am so not cool with that. As usual I hate conventional workouts which won't even keep my interest long enough to get results, so I did some research an I found a local place that has Belly Dancing lessons OOOOHHHH AAHHHHH and you know what, I don't care that I actually have a belly. there are also Salsa Classes. That may be fun to do with Chris. Again, We shall see. All I know is, WHATEVER I WANT TO DO, I WILL AND THIS IS MY BODY AND NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT IT. So if you want to do something, don't let anyone stop you, because the disappointment of a life not lived will rest only on you. Change That! I do however like to walk and used to walk everywhere and do over 2 miles a day and I used to dance too. Wow that's allot of I used to......... Don't we all feel like that sometimes? But why not now? Why? No one has the power to see into your brain and capture your fears and use them against you. You are sometimes your biggest enemy. I can tell you I have looked very harshly on myself and I don't feel like there is room for any of that anymore. So what I gained some weight, and I can't fit into that swanky Sz 12, skirt that I wore 10 years ago, when I was 21, but I have changed and my wardrobe needs to fit me not the other way around. After 10 years of growing and evolving I often find that it is the memory of what that skirt holds for me, and not the actual skirt, sometimes it is so hard to let go.
This is only one example to give you an idea of everyday chances to gain some wisdom and do something different! Throw out the fucking stupid skirt that makes you feel bad because you feel like you have to fit it and move on and get a new swanky skirt. LOL or some nice new Stewart Gill Paint because that is the me now and the me at 31 doesn't care about materialistic things as much as 21 yr old me did, so Art Supplies is the new currency :) YAY!
Sorry for the cursing storm but I am PMS-ing and had a hard day, and let me tell you I normally don't curse very often, but throwing around a F**k here and there makes me feel better sometimes. Also it does wonders on people that really piss you off, I can't tell you how far a Go F**k Yourself goes, (RESEVE THIS ONLY FOR THE HATERS) the baffled and bewildered looks you will get. I get them also because I look about 16 and everyone knows me as "Such a sweet girl" Hey even nice girls have to break out sometimes! I hear Yoga is fun, I am not sure why because wrapping yourself in a tight little pretzel doesn't really appeal to me but hey I think anything reasonable is worth a try. Of course the hubby will probably be all for that. Men, can't live with them, and you can't get away with burying them in the backyard! LOLOL Oh did I say that out loud? Love Ya Chris. My husband knows he lives with a raving lunatic better than anyone else, and his sense of humor is just as twisted as mine. He just gets me. He has recently started to help me with my artsy business and now I know that he was the missing piece of the puzzle. Besides no one reads my blog LOL Whatever, I love to blog because after a crappy day I feel like I am telling Girl Friends my stories and that feels good. When I am writing, it is one of the only times I can really focus. Back to the DREADED SUBJECT OF EXERCISE, Don't laugh, what I am about to tell you is highly embarrassing :) I LOVE RICHARD SIMMONS AND OWN HIS WORKOUTS! and if your laughing FU Very Much LOL I like people with over the top personalities. The man is like 70 and he still wears his teeny tiny bedazzled shirts and shorts and looks amazing! He is it for me. So there is my little confession. I should get a webcam and do Vlogs, is that what they are called, on YouTUBE, I would either have people who love me or want to commit me. Goodnite all!

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